Sunday, October 16, 2016

In That Moment of Suffering Chapter 49 - Girls' Talk?

Revealing talk~

Edit: Delay until next week for chapter 50. It's longer than normal and various stuff came up irl, so I've been busy.

Chapter 49 - Girls' Talk?

Senna sets aside a dish for Mika on the vanity table. After making sure Mika is satisfied, Senna sits on the bed and spreads her arms while calling out to Iris seductively. "Here. Come~ Take me~"

Iris' brain abruptly halts at the sight before her. She unconsciously takes a step forward before recovering her state of mind. Embarrassment tinges her face once again as she tries to scold Senna. "Senna! Don't tease me!"

"But you didn't dislike it right?" Senna giggles putting down her hands.

"Th-that's not the point!" Iris tenses up the tease, but shakes her head refuting Senna's joke.

"Senna!" The door bursts open as Princess Liliana charges into the room and performs a flying tackle leaping into Senna's arms.

"Hello Liliana. You're quite energetic." Senna laughs intercepting Liliana before Liliana crashes into her and gets hurt.

"It's been soooo boring since you left!! Big sister didn't want to play with me. She spent all day looking out the window asking Iru when you're going to come back." Liliana inadvertently mixes in information about Iris when talking about her day.

"Wahhh!!!" Iris dashes toward Senna hoping to stop Liliana's running mouth.

"Then~" Senna smile, lowering Liliana back to the ground. She spreads her arms intercepting Iris with a big bear hug. Senna being the younger, shorter one, the top of her head only reaches the base of Iris' neck with the lower part of her face buried in Iris' chest. Senna flashes a bright smile. "I'm sorry for making you feel lonely~"

Iris' face immediately resembles a boiled octopus. "A...A...Auu..." She lets out a weak cry as all the blood rushes to her head. Her entire body feels limp as she fully leans on Senna for support.

"Senna, I think that's enough. The Princess is at her limit." A voice to the interrupts them.

Senna looks at Iru entering the room followed by Irene. She flashes them a smile before turning to Iris' boiled face. "So she is." Senna releases her hug and carefully leads Iris to sit down on the bed. Iru uses a small wooden fan and starts to cool off the overheated Princess.

While Iris is cooling off, Senna tells Liliana some fairy tales to keep her entertained. Both Liliana and Mika lull into dreamland by the third story. She turns to Iris, who has mostly recovered back to normal. "Okay. They're asleep. If you want to attempt a honey trap, now's the time~"

"Ho-Honey trap?!" Iris' barely recovered face flushes red once again.

"Senna, that's really enough. The Princess can't take this kind of teasing. The Princess only wanted to find out more about you." Iru intervenes fanning Iris again.

"Okay~ Then go ahead and ask, I'll answer whatever you want. Liliana isn't awake, so I don't need to gloss over anything." Senna casually replies.

"Then...L-Lo...Love..." Iris meekly asks avoiding Senna's gaze.

"My love life?" Senna questions further. Iris hangs her head weakly nodding. "I'm sorry to say I haven't had any love life or proper relationships for that matter."

"Really?!" Iris reflexively breaks into a bright smile with Senna's response. When she everyone staring at her, Iris lets out a gasp and hangs her head to higher her embarrassment. "Then..." She tries to continue the questioning, but the question gets caught in her throat.

Silence looms over the room as they wait for Iris to continue. Finally getting impatient, Iru decides to help ask the question. "Senna, what type of men are you interested in?"

Senna looks at Iris and watches her tightly grip the bed sheets until her knuckles turn white. She gives a short sigh and seriously responds. "Well I said I would be honest, so I’ll give you a clear answer. I have no interest in men." She gives a quick glance at Iris and sees her grip loosening. "If you want to seduce me with someone, then a cute girl like Iris is far more effective than any male candidate."

"Eh?!" Iris' head shoots upward as she stares at Senna.

"That is..." Iru murmurs.

"Do you mean you only like women Senna?" Irene asks.

"I wonder…? It’s more the only option I have is to like women?" Senna tilts her head, half talking to herself.

"What does that mean?" Irene asks. A weird expression forms on the maid’s face at the unexpected development. In contrast, Iris’ face is particularly bright at the Senna’s positive evaluation.

"I tolerate men or maybe better to say I'm apathetic towards them. I don't care much about them or what they want even if it's to use my body for sex. But romantically speaking, I can't say I could develop feelings towards a man anymore. I hold too much disgust for one man in particular that it carries over to any other man I meet." Senna explains taking a step back for a better visual.

"It's good that Liliana doesn't have to know about this. If you feel you can't handle it, just tell me to stop."
Senna releases the clasp for her dress letting it fall to the ground. Iris covers her eyes with her hands, but leaves a little crack to peek. However, she immediately puts her hands down seeing the shirt and shorts underneath. "Ah, the back is less ugly isn't it?" Senna turns around stripping the shirt off her back. [1]

"Wah!" Iris yelps fully covering her eyes. When she hears Iru and Irene gasp, her fingers slide back up. She discovers Senna wearing a gray tank top underneath, but her sight is pulled to the scars. Her eyes widen as she lets out a cry at the disfigurement.

"Brace yourselves. It's worse once I take off this piece." Senna leisurely adds.

"Wait! Stop!" Iris immediately yells.

Senna's hand releases the edge of her clothes. "Then I'm turning around." She sees their eyes widen as they notice the traces off heavier scarring. She patiently waits for the sight to sink in before speaking up. "As you can see, I'm quite hideous. There's not much point in hoping for a normal relationship with someone when I'm this disgusting."

"It's also a reason that I've given up having a relationship with a man. They wouldn't be interested in someone like me after all. It's just as bad here, so I can't even be used." Senna gives a self-mocking laugh as she points to her vagina.

Iris starts to cry as she imagines all the other scars on Senna's body. Iru and Irene are both pale at the sight before them. "You weren't kidding when you talked about your body." Irene mutters.

"Obviously." Senna laughs. "It's not like I have much benefit from talking about my disfigurement."

"Wh-why do you not fix it? You showed off such amazing healing magic. Why don't you heal yourself?" Iru asks.

Senna scoffs at the question.
"You make it sound like I haven't tried. Not only me, but someone I know tried completely healing the scars on me. I became far more unstable than I thought possible. I was only half a step away from going insane. If I didn't reflexively inflict new scars on myself, then I really would have gone crazy." Senna reminisces about when Sol messed around with her body. The meeting forced her to give up at removing the scars despite being under the care of one of the best healers possible.[2]

After a long silence, Iris holds back her tears and asks the question on her mind. "Senna, what is insane?"

"Heh?" Senna unintentionally reveals her surprise at the simple question. She notices Iru and Irene with the same questioning gaze. "You don't know what insane is?" Senna's jaw drops seeing them shake their heads. She clasps her hand over her mouth as she thinks about what to say. "...Well...basically it means if I heal myself, then I'll die."

Iris gasps. Irene gives Senna a weird look. "Is it really that serious?"

"What will happen is a bit different, but it's essentially the same result. My body has something I don't fully understand, so I absolutely can't remove it even if I want to." Senna sighs admitting her weird bodily quirk.

"That's..." Irene averts her gaze feeling guilty for breaching the topic.

Senna merrily laughs. "It doesn't matter you know. Feel free to breach the topic all you want. I promised that I would answer your question and I don't personally mind if you ask."

The girls look at each other feeling uncomfortable at digging into past so blatantly. Iris feels equally uncomfortable, but her curiosity and desire to learn more about Senna overrides her discomfort. "Senna... how did you get those scars?"

"Haha, straight to the point I see." Senna gives a light laugh before fixing her expression. "Then I'll be direct too. Barely a year ago, I was imprisoned by a noble and made to serve his every desire. I wasn't like I am now and was simply a frail girl without any strength or magic." Senna explains with a wistful expression.

"...Didn't you ever try to escape?" Shifting uncomfortably, Iru asks the major concern on her mind.

"Of course I did. I tried to run at first when I didn't understand the situation, but I was forced to give up. I was cursed with a spell to stay in the building they locked me in. Nothing I was previously taught helped to break the curse, so I could only accept my situation. didn't help that the master violently punished me with each failed attempt." Senna bitterly smiles at the earliest memories with Rimmer.

Senna sees their increasingly pale face and decides to wrap up the question. "I still haven't answer your question yet. For that noble, sex was secondary for him. His priority was to use me as a attack dummy. Blades, blunt weapons were just a piece of the things used on me. The more blood I shed, the more I screamed, the more excited he became.  The irony is that if I tried to endure the pain too much, the faster he would kill me and find a new girl as a toy. After 8 years of such treatment, I became like this." Senna forcefully finished the topic when she sees Iris on the verge of fainting.

"8 years?!" Irene screams making Iris and Iru jump in surprise.

"Mmm. That's right. 8 years." Senna tilts her head at the outburst.

"Then you were only the Princess' age when you were kidnapped..." Irene looks at Princess Liliana. Tears come to her eyes imagining Liliana being taken and ending up in the same state as Senna.

"Hm?'re mistaken~" Senna waves her hand realizing their mistaken. "I received a blessing from the Goddess Remilia. She made me a bit younger to give me some time back. I was 18 before she changed me into my current appearance."

"That isn't much better if you were kidnapped at 10. You were still a child back then." Irene refutes.

Senna shakes her head. "No, no. I was 18 when I was first kidnapped. I wasn't that young."

"....................." The three's expressions turn weird as they look at Senna.

"What?" Senna tilts her head.

"Senna, are you perhaps extremely bad with math?" Iru asks.

"No? I understand a great deal of math and really good at it too." Senna becomes even more confused at the off track question.

"Senna let me see if I understand this correctly." Irene steps forward. "You were 18 when you were kidnapped?"


"You were imprisoned for 8 years?"


"You were 18 when you escaped?"


Irene holds her head at Senna's terrible math. Iris raises her hand. "Senna, do you not know what 18 + 8 equals?"

"26, obviously." Senna answers immediately.

"18 - 8?" Iris follows up.

"10." Senna replies.

"..........." Iris, Irene, and Iru's expression becomes even more complicated.

"What's happening here?" Irene groans holding her head.

Iris motions Irene and Iru to come closer. "Why is she acting so strange? She doesn't know how stupid her words are despite admitting it herself." Irene asks exasperated.

"Isn't she just joking?" Iru asks. The two of them turn to Senna and see the confused look on her face and shake their heads simultaneously. ""Not possible.""

"I had a thought... but do you think Senna's under a curse too? Maybe she doesn't realize it because it's extremely weak." Iris proposes.

"Possibly." Iru nods.

"But considering she's such an expert at healing, she should have discovered a curse right away?" Irene counters.

"It doesn't hurt to try regardless." Iru persists siding with the Princess.

"True." Irene relents. The three stop huddling and look at the completely confused expression on Senna's face.

"Senna, can you try dispelling a curse on everyone in the room?" Iris asks.

"A curse? But no one in the room is cursed though?" Senna becomes more and more confused at how the conversation has progressed.

"Please! Please just use your absolute best curse dispelling magic on everyone in the room including yourself." Iris pleads using her teary, red eyes to her advantage.

"...Fine. I'll do as you asked." Senna reluctantly complies with Iris demand. She gathers a dense amount of <Light Magic> in her hand enhancing it even further with her magic reserves. Gathering enough magic to cast a <Master> class spell, she casts a <Holy Curse Cleansing spell> on everybody in the room. Senna firmly controls the excess <Light Magic> to prevent it from leaking out wastefully and doesn't bother creating any showy light as a special effect.

Everyone and everything in the room shines with a weak white light for a solid minute before the light disperses returning the room back to normal. "This <Master> class spell is the best that I can do. I trust that is satisfactory?" Senna asks still feeling confused about why the spell was necessary.

"Was that really a <Master> class spell? It didn’t feel very strong?" Irene asks doubtfully.

"Yes. I weakened the light since I don't know what the Princess is searching for. The normal excess energy went into increasing the potency of the dispelling magic." Senna explains.

"I see..." Irene purses her lips feeling a bit doubtful, but she only understands a bit about magic and can't refute Senna's claim with a 100% certainty.

"Senna." Iris interjects hoping to test her concern. "You were 18 when you were kidnapped, was kidnapped for 8 years and were 18 years old when you escaped is that true?"

"Yes. That's correct." Senna nods.

"Ughhhhhh..." They simultaneously groan and turn away from Senna.

Senna becomes even more confused at their exasperation. "Just what's wrong with you three?"

"We're obviously...!" Iris cries out.

"Princess, let me." Iru interjects. "Senna, if you were 18 from the start and 8 years passed, then you should be 26 at the end. Why do you claim you were still 18?"

"That's..." As Senna responds, her pupils flash with a dull gray color for a brief moment before returning to normal in the next second. "...because I was truly 18 when I left that place."

Senna doesn't notice the slight oddity, but the girls catch the faint flicker as they firmly check her reaction. A hint of surprise runs through them as that single flicker confirms Iris' guess. They look at one another with the same question, 'What now?'

"Senna, I think you've been cursed." Iris directly goes to the heart of the problem.

"Nonsense. I'm not cursed." Senna refutes, but she decides to humor Iris and check her [Status] anyways. Sure enough, no anomalies appear in Senna's [Status]. "Besides, I cast a <Master> class spell just now. There wouldn't be anything remaining unless it was <God> class."

"There's definitely a curse. We saw it just now! It's probably just hiding from you." Iris declares pointing her finger at Senna.

"That's ridiculous. I..." Senna starts to refute her silly claim, but the image of that demon in the library appears in her mind. That demon was a far higher existence compared to Senna and could easily do something to her. Her entire focus was on running away, so a curse or tracing spell isn't impossible.

With a cynical point of view, there are several other candidates including the Elementals she’s met. A curse interwoven with her blessings could also happen. Not to mention, the distorted blessing that she received from the Lich King. She still had to try and get that removed.

Senna sighs realizing all the holes in her blatant confidence. "Fine. First thing in the morning, I'll go visit the church and request for a purification. That should be satisfactory?"

"So you really do think you've been cursed?" Irene asks.

"I admit it's possible. I'm not all knowing after all. Even if own analysis shows nothing, I can't deny I missed something." Senna shrugs. "That's probably enough for today. You realize now why I don't have any hope or desire in having a normal love life. I will turn in for the night. I still have various things I need to do. So I will bid you good night."

"Good night Senna." The girls reply. Senna picks up Mika and exits the room leaving them alone.

"Just what kind of things has she been doing that she's been cursed in such a way." Irene comments after Senna leaves.

"If it really is a <God> class curse, then she will probably have to live with it for the rest of her life." Iru adds.

"Is it really that bad?" Iris worriedly asks.

"It depends. We didn't see any problems with her, so we don't know what the curse even does." Iru sighs.

"She only acted weird about her past, so hopefully it only does that and doesn't affect Senna's life." Irene comments.

"I hope it gets cured..." Iris prays.

Irene changes the topic seeing the Princess' mood. "Her past though... that was far more disturbing than I expected."

"I know. It's amazing she survived such treatment. I would have killed myself if I had to live such a life." Iru agrees.

"But finding a beautiful woman for Senna...That's going to be hard. They would need to have the same interests and also endure the sight of her body." Irene thinks about anyone that could even come close to the requirements.

"I can't think of anyone." Iru gives up quickly after thinking of possible acquaintances.

"Me either." Irene gives up not long after. "It would be best to leave this to the King and Queen."

"......Will they object if I volunteer for that?" Iris proposes.

""Eh?...EHHHHHHHH?!?!?!" They turn to Iris, but it takes another moment before her words fully sink in.

"Princess, are you serious?" Iru grabs Iris' shoulder and questions her.

"Yes. I'm very serious." Iris nods without hesitation.

"But what about the Duke's son?" Iru asks.

"What about him? He's already married someone else while I was ill. Wouldn't it be inappropriate for the first Princess to be the concubine." Iris refutes back.

"But didn't you want to marry a handsome prince like him?" Iru asks again.

"...That was then." Iris shakes her head thinking of her feelings in the past. "Right now I would like to be with Senna. I can help my parents in rewarding Senna, so there's no problem."

"There's a big problem! Two women can't have an heir!" Irene interjects.

"Father is still young. He will reign for a long time. By the time he retires, I expect Liliana will marry someone to be a fine heir to the throne. If needed, I can always adopt a suitable boy to take on the throne." Iris answers confidently.

They argue for some time, but Iris remains adamant in her choice. When Irene and Iru give up, they go to inform the King and Queen of Iris' decision. This prompts the second round of arguments. They heavily question her. After a long hour of discussion, they relent seeing Iris truly desires to follow Senna. In truth, they are uneasy about their daughter's newfound orientation, but the current situation makes her happy forcing them to accept, in addition to the benefits they receive from her choice.

[1] Random factoid: Senna normally wears dress or armor depending on the situation. Under that are the layers seen in the chapter, from top to bottom, t-shirt, cursed tank top for strength regulation, bra. The lower half of her body has pants (none if wearing a dress), shorts, and underwear. More layers means it's harder for anyone to notice the scars and harder to feel when someone touches her, not that it happens often.
[2] Reference to Chapter 14.

Author’s Note
Yay! Almost at the 50 chapter mark! Shame I got nothing prepared. I think I can get chapter 50 out by next week, not sure yet.

A bit of reveals this chapter about Senna. Probably more questions than answers though. XD Nothing more for the time being though. Planning two more reveals after some more things happen.

That’s all for now. Later~


  1. Thanks for the chapter!

    "There's a big problem! Two women can have an heir!" Irene interjects.

    Did you mean "can't have an heir?", or is a problem for some reason?

    1. Thanks for reading. Yep. It should be can't. XD

  2. I kinda feel like you told us most of those reveals already though, but that could be my imagination. And I want to say that the inexplicable lack of arithmatic ability has something to do with the mental modifications she had at the very beginning that I remember the goddess saying she didn't get rid of all of leading to her max rank in etiquette, speaking of I kinda miss seeing her stats every now and then.

    That last sentence is why I have yet to write more than summaries of my own story I've had kicking around.

    1. Yeah. A lot of it was rehash, but the arithmetic was the focus of it.
      Thanks for reading!

  3. I just read the whole series over the weekend and I am now looking forward to more chapters. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

    Some concerns or questions:

    1. I hope her growing relationship with Iris doesn’t result in Senna being bound to Erein permanently. I like that she just wants to be free (after all her torments) explore the world, learn god-class magic and that she wants to go home and visit her family. I just wouldn’t like to see that the king has managed to manipulate her into staying there for good.

    2. So, Senna was enslaved when she was 18 and saved when she was 26 and the Goddess turned her into a 14 year old or was she enslaved at 18 then her age was reverted back to 10 saved by Ariel when she was again 18 and the goddess made her again younger?

    3. It’s is good to see that Ariel will be back and maybe Senna should use her “Angel Email” a bit more often. It just seemed strange that she hasn’t contacted her since her escape from the demons and at least relayed the information about the demon which fought Ariel in the first chapters or did this already happen off-screen?

    4. Will we see Senna fight at least once, where she gets really angry and unleash her wrath (she is always so calm and collected)?

    5. At the beginning of the series I thought for sure that Ariel will be a love interest?

    6. When Senna ate Ariels feather in Prologue 2, will this have consequences?

    Thank you again for your hard work and hopefully you can/will continue it for a long time.

    1. Thanks for reading!
      1. Senna is definitely leaving Erein. I just ended up wanting to various things while she's in a major city that it's taking a long while. XD

      2. It's weird I know. And I'm enjoying all the confusion I've caused with this detail. Lol! For now, 18 years old when she was enslaved and 18 when she got out. The weird gray zone of 8 years will be something to fill in later.

      3. Yeah. I just kept putting off bringing it up since I knew Ariel would appear eventually. I'll bring it up soon, maybe next chapter actually.

      4. Not sure myself. Hadn't thought about it, but I have a few fights in my head that I haven't thought about in detail and I can twist so that she's less restrained.

      5. Yeah. Technically she is. I haven't really plotted out if I want to do a yuri harem kind of thing, but the option is definitely there.

      6. The feather is a bit of a extra detail that I didn't really plan for. XD I forget about it most of the time since I don't cover Ariel much, but I can still add some stuff in the future.

    2. Thanks for answering my questions.

    3. No problem~ Glad you like my work.

    4. Lol! It will probably flow that way anyways. XD

    5. If I remember correctly Senna was abducted at 10, magically aged to 18, imprisoned for 8 years then reverted to somewhere in 14-18 range on age (physically). She's had major mental/soul magic applied and removing it will very (highly as heck) likely damage her soul/mentally and it will be irrevocable (unfixable). So all in all since she had her memories erased, she got abducted at 18, held for 8 years, then escaped at (reverted to) 18.

      The deleted comment got moved to the correct place (here).

  4. Delay for chapter 50. It's longer than normal and various stuff came up irl, so I've been busy. Apologies~

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Omg it let me post! Also hi other readers! Thanks again for the chapter

    2. Welcome back to the blog Sylali~

    3. Lol right? Didn't let me post for like 20 chapters or something

  6. I am now curious about Senna’s reaction when the princess makes her proposal of marriage.

    At first I thought she would be happy about it (to finally found someone who will accept her body), but then I remembered chapter 39 where she told the guards that everybody who will have any interest in her body would have an “odd taste” and is probably not really “normal”.

    After all, if someone has an interest in her body, doesn’t that mean this person has similar inclination than her former Master and Senna is smart enough to realize this.

    This could be a funny mini-plot where Senna thinks Iris is a pervert with a strange taste for distorted body’s .

    1. You can anticipate it next chapter. I'm working on it to try and get it out by sometime tomorrow. Earlier if possible, depending on my focus.
      And thanks for reading!

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